just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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