So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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