This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
What a dumb baby whore.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
