I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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