My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
