For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Randomize
