so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
