Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
