As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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