Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
