so that wasnt chicken after all
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
