Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
