he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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