In the future we'll all be gay
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
