Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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