physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
they're like a gay fantastic four
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
