Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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