You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
