You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
