i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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