i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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