i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
