It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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