feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
