Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I had to cum in my sink.
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