Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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