Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
