i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
