Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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