Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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