She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize