I have demons in me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
