Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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