Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
