I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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