So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
