3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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