and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
being pregnant is like rehab
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
