dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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