I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
