And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
