she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
