is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
