Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
