Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
