Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
