I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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