i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
