i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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