I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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