Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
