I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
