after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize