508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
