Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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