im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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