If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
