Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
