Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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