this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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