weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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