Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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