We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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