is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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