Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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