She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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